"I don't know how you do it", or "I couldn't handle it" is what people often say when they hear that my 2 year old daughter has diabetes and that I have to give her 2 shots a day and prick her finger 4 times a day. My response to these remarks is quite simple: "How could I not do it?"
I don't like the fact that my precious little girl has to endure it all and that she was diagnosed at only 13 months old. But what I have to go through is really quite easy when I know that it is what keeps my daughter alive. There is nothing in the world I wouldn't do for her and yes, I would much rather it be my own arm I have to inject insulin into or my own fingers I have to prick. But it's not; it's hers and I can "handle" anything that comes my way when it comes to this little girl.
How can people say these things -- that it would be too difficult for them to cope with? Would they just let their child die if it happened to them? I think not. I think, instead, that people don't know their own strength. My love for my children gives me strength that cannot be matched.
I have cried and I have screamed. I have questioned God, "Why my daughter; why at only 1 year old?"
I have days where I feel depressed and sad. I've blamed myself and blamed others, and many nights I've gone to bed with tears in my eyes. But every morning I still get up and do whatever I have to for my daughter. I have never let her see that I am sad about it, I have never shown her that I feel sorry for her. I give her her shots with a smile, and I balance her sugar intake with her insulin so that she eats what any other 2 year old would want and need.
In my eyes, I'm not doing anything spectacular. I do whatever I have to for my children. The strength it takes me to cope with my daughter's diabetes is so little compared to the awesome and undying love I have for her. The moment I gave birth to this darling angel, I knew I would move mountains and cross oceans for her if I had to. So please, if you meet me and come to know that my 2 year old daughter has diabetes, don't ask me how I do it. Just look into my daughter's beautiful blue eyes and answer your own question.
Hayley receives e-mail at firstname.lastname@example.org.
Published November 11, 1999
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