Humorous Tidbits from 2004The diagnosis of diabetes changes you and your family forever. However, in between the challenges of caring for diabetes come amusing moments that remind us of the important things in our lives, like our families and laughing.
Recently my 13 year old son experienced a hyperglycemic day. I made one of my many trips to school and once everything was under control I returned to work. Later that afternoon my son called to report in. The first thing out of his mouth was, "Mom - did you reprogram my machine?" I explained that I had reset the time on it. He said, "Thanks! Now when I insert a strip into my machine it greets me and says "Hi!" Just goes to prove that even when they're having a bad day these kids can still find something comical in the world of diabetes. Brightened up our day!
My seven year old daughter was recently diagnosed with diabetes. A couple of weeks ago, my five year old son Brian told me that he wasn't feeling well because he cut his finger and saw the "hydrates coming out."
My daughter had just changed her infusion set and was checking her pump. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw her holding the pump and pressing the buttons but, thinking it was her always-present cell phone, asked, "Who's texting you now?"
The day after my daughter started pumping, she experienced a low, so I decided to pick her up from school. Imagine my surprise when the nurse told me "She's suspended." As she realized my eyes had widened, she corrected herself, saying, "Oh, I meant her pump."
The first winter after my daughter was diagnosed she came to me and asked if snow had sugar in it. When I replied no she said. "Oh goody! I can eat as much as I want."
My 12-year-old son Brett was playing outside linebacker for his youth football team when he began to feel low. He came out and one of the parents got a juice for him. He went back in and on the next play intercepted the pass and scored the final touchdown. It was like super juice!
Our 15-year-old son found a purpose for used testing strips the other day, even though he knows they get thrown in the sharps container after use. He lost the stays for his dress shirt and discovered test strips "do the job well." Nothing like an ingenious teenager to show their parents who is charge of their own care.
We just put an in-ground pool in our backyard this summer. One day, I was testing the pool for chlorine and ph balance. My 9 year old daughter saw me put the testing strip in and compare it to the colours on the bottle. She then asked, "Does the pool have ketones?"
I just started teaching kindergarten. Since my 10-year-old son is a diabetic, the school decided to have a new student with diabetes in my class. Thing were going fine until the student decided to EAT part of a crayon and taste the glue. I looked at him and said, "Sweetie, please don't eat the art supplies. I don't know how to count the carbs for them!"
I never thought my five-year-old daughter would use diabetes to her advantage. One day after lunch at the mall, I treated her to an ice cream dessert. I wanted to have a little taste of it. I asked her if I could have a few licks, hoping she would graciously share. Instead she said, "Mom you'll mess up the carb count!"
My seven-year-old diabetic daughter is in second grade. I made a special ledger for her to write her blood glucose levels on and she brings it home once per week for me to review. I was looking over her last one and in the Wednesday afternoon slot it said "4 something" (in a second grade style of writing) instead of 434 or 485 -- just "4 something." I guess she figured if it is over 400 it does not make a difference what the actual number is!
My newly diagnosed four-year-old daughter went to grandma's one afternoon and when it came time to check her sugar she told grandma that she didn't want to be a diabetic anymore and that they should throw her meter in the woods and she wouldn't tell mom about it. Funny how simple their minds are. Don't we as parents wish that it would be that easy to get rid of?
After my six-year-old daughter was bitten numerous times by mosquitoes this summer, I told her the mosquitos like her because she has sweet blood. She asked, "Is that because I have diabetes?"
I was diagnosed a couple months ago. The other day, I badly miscalculated the insulin for my dinner carbs, and an hour later found that I had dropped pretty low. So I grabbed some carbs, and then, because I'd never been quite that low before and was alone with the kids, I called my ten year old over to give him the standard mommy-is-low speech: "... so if I start acting funny or fall to the floor --" "I know, I know," he interrupted. "Dump a glass of water on your head and give you a juice box." I started laughing and told him dumping the water was probably not necessary. "I know," he said, "but I bet I could get away with it."
After dinner one night, I sent my 9-year-old son to wash his face. I had noticed a large dot of ink on his forehead and told him to be sure to wipe it off as he washed up. At 8:00, my husband sent the kids up to get into their pajamas and told Jimmy to wash the dot off his forehead. Jimmy came back downstairs for his nightly Lantus shot. He was in his pajamas, but still had the dot. I had the syringe in one hand and the alcohol pad in the other. Deciding he was never going to clean that dot off his forehead, I proceed to rub at it with the alcohol pad. His eyes widened in horror as he shouted, "MOM! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" I explained about the dot. "Oh", he said with relief, "I thought you were going to give me the shot there! I know it has two cheeks, but that's my face." Guess where he gets his evening shot?
My five-year-old has been diabetic now for two years. After one of his injections last week, I had an emotional moment and told him I was so sorry that I had to give him injections. I told him a was so sorry that he was diabetic. He took my face in his hands and said, "Mom it's not your fault, and I'm sorry that you are old!" I'm thirty two and never really considered myself as old, but I guess in their young minds there are worse things in life than being diabetic!
I had just come in from cleaning the inside window of the car my daughter drives. She's had diabetes for over 14 years and recently started driving. When I came in, my wife asked, "Were you showing Marissa how to check the glucose level in the car?" I think she meant oil level.
My husband has a bad habit of not keeping his insulin kit zipped shut. The other day, he parked his truck behind the shed and jumped out with his insulin kit under his arm and his monitor hit the ground with an ominous thud. I had carried the baby back to greet him so I saw this and yelled, "Keep that thing zipped! Look, it fell out on the ground again!" When we walked out from behind the shed, the neighbor man was giving us funny looks.
14 may 2004
While sitting in the restaurant after eating, my 13-year-old diabetic daughter started to take her bolus. Just then a waitress walked by and noticed her entering her bolus. The waitress said, "Man these kids and all their new games these days." We all kinda chuckled under our breath and agreed with her.
11 May 2004
Last night I set my sonic sounding, light-flashing, bed-shaking alarm clock (no lie, it does all those things) for midnight to check Jill. I woke up at 1:51 am and hit the snooze, but then I heard a thumping noise. I sat up and listened and it happened again. Someone was knocking on my door. I woke my husband up (he sleeps through the alarm too) and told him, "Someone's at the door." He looked out the window and said, "It's the police." I panic, thinking something happened to my mother. I go open the door and the police officer asks me if everything is all right. They got a call from one of our neighbors that there were flashing lights and an alarm going off. I wanted to just die. I told him it was my alarm clock. He stares at me and says, "But it was lighting up all the windows." I said, "I know, I'm a heavy sleeper!" He just couldn't believe it. He asked again if I was sure everything was all right and I said yes. Then of course I took the opportunity (at 2 am) to tell him my daughter has diabetes and I (try) to get up every night and check her blood sugar. I think he thought I was nuts!
25 April 2004
Parenting teenagers and toddlers has been challenging and humorous -- then you add diabetes. My husband asked our 3-year-old daughter Rachael, who was then newly, diagnosed, "Are you high?" Our 16-year-old quipped, "Are you stoned?" So Rachael quipped back, "Are you a rock?"
19 March 2004
Having diabetes has landed my four-year-old son's name in the telemarketing databases of more than one diabetes supply company. My daughter wisely hands him the phone when they call asking to speak with my son. He tells them all about his Thomas the Tank Engine and Hot Wheels collection. They rarely call back.
18 March 2004
This past Christmas, my then 2-1/2-year-old son and I were shopping at Kohl's. Because everything in the store was half off, the place was packed. I had some items in the cart and some in my arms as my son played near by. In our house when it is shot time we make a huge game of it. I would sneak up behind him pull down his pants and give him and injection in the bottom. Then I would say, "Gotcha, gotcha right in the hiney." He would laugh and giggle. While I was standing in line, with my worn out sweats with no string in the waistband, I was horrified when all the sudden I felt this quick yank on the legs of my pants. My hands were full and I was at the mercy of this 2-1/2-year-old child that decided one more tug and they would come down, which is what he did. Before I could get my arms empty, my sweats were down to my knees, and my little one proclaiming, "Gotcha Mom, gotcha right in the hiney." The woman behind me stood there in total amazement. I think her face was as red as mine. When I finally got everything pulled up and back in place, I tried to explain to her that he was a diabetic and that is how I give him his injections to make it more fun. I don't think she bought my story, and I have not been back to shop at that store again.
10 March 2004
My son Josh is 9 years old, he was diagnosed when he was 4. About a week after he was diagnosed, I was explaining to him what the honeymoon phase was. I told him that it was like his diabetes was sleeping for a while, and when it woke up, he would have to start taking care of it. Just then my 8 year old daughter Amanda walked into the kitchen loudly. Josh quickly said, "SHHHHHHH! My diabetes is sleeping!"
10 March 2004
I have been an RN for diabetes camp for three years and my daughter was diagnosed two years ago. I have to laugh when I think of her first year at camp, when she was fed so many peanut butter sandwiches that it took over a year before she would eat one again! God help her as I don't think I can eat peanut butter again.
1 March 2004
Last week while my 16 year old diabetic was taking her insulin shot right before dinner, her 5 year old brother wanted to watch but came in just as she was finishing and told her to "do it again!" We all had a good laugh about it.
19 February 2004
My 12 year old diabetic son and I were walking through the isles of a local supermarket when I caught my son staring intently at an attractive young lady walking down the isle a little ways away from us. Embarrassed and worried that his father and I might have to have a talk with him, I told him that staring like that wasn't nice. He looked up at me perplexed and surprised me with his answer. "What? I was just trying to see what kind of pump she had." Surprised that he would think of such an excuse, I stole a quick glance in the lady's direction and, sure enough, hooked to the side of her belt was a blue insulin pump. I guess all is really not lost.
6 February 2004
I told my son to check his blood sugar. He pulled the kit out of his book bag from school. Then he asked, "Hey, Mom, how can I check it with this?" He was holding a film canister! Earlier that morning I had inadvertently picked up the film container and packed that instead of the vial of test strips! Good thing he didn't have to test that day at school.
27 January 2004
My son, Josh, had just been diagnosed at the pediatrician's office and we were driving to the hospital for his admission. My husband was quiet and stoic. I was fretting and tearful. Josh chirped from the back seat, "Mom, I don't have DIabetes, I have LIVEabetes, because I am going to live!" And so he has and we have all learned to manage and go on.
27 January 2004
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