July 26, 2002
Complications, Other Social Issues
Question from Danbury, Connecticut, USA:
For several months I have been dating a very lovely 47 year old man who has had type 1 diabetes for more than 40 years, uses an insulin pump, and seems to take excellent care with his diabetes management. He is divorced with no children. However, he is extremely reticent about sex, and has thus far deflected any questions I have posed about this subject. He says he is just not “ready” to be sexual, and that he has been very lucky and has had no complications with this disease. However, I suspect there may be some dysfunction issues after having had the disease so long.
I am trying not to push this issue but am beginning to wonder if he is simply unwilling to discuss such a “taboo” matter. Can you suggest a tactful way to bring up a sensitive subject with regard to diabetes? Any suggestions would help, as I’d like to continue this relationship in some manner.
Answer:
Although there may be several reasons why your loved one is avoiding sex, erectile dysfunction may be one of them. You are correct in your assessment that there may be a physical root to his reluctance. I would be patient and allow the relationship to blossom.
You might also seek guidance from other answers provided on this web site about sexual dysfunction. There are several medical interventions available if indeed the cause of his reticence is diabetes related. Viagra, penile implants and other options exist. Let him know that sex is vital but not a deal breaker between the two of you — if that is the case. Encourage him to discuss with his personal physician, or to visit a urologist.
CMB
