I am 13 years old, have had diabetes for nine years, and have been on an insulin pump for six months. I am starting to get very independent with my diabetes care, but my mom (who has always been there and taken care of me) thinks I’m trying to take over and put her out of my life! What should I do? I want to be independent and I don’t want my mom feeling like I have forgotten her.

You are a wise and mature person to realize that you mother wishes to participate in your diabetes care, and that she might see some of your interest in independence as a rejection of her. I’d encourage you to talk with her in as open a way as you can. Try to get her attention when she’s in a good mood, and when she’s not in the middle of three or more things at once. Then let her know you want to talk with her about your diabetes care, and some ways to share in the responsibility for it. Ask her what her concerns are, and whether or not she’s been pleased with your judgement and your decisions about your diabetes care. Ask her what things you might be able to do to help her feel less worried about you. Perhaps she just needs to sit with you once a week and review your blood sugar logs to discuss pattern management. If this kind of discussion does not go the way you hoped, it may also be a good idea talk with your diabetes team and see if they can help.

JWB