I am the mother of a teenager with type 1 diabetes. How can I get her to see that I’m not the bad guy for making sure she isn’t late taking her insulin? She really resents me and does what she wants when she wants. I almost lost her several months ago: she was pregnant and lost the baby. Please help me.

It seems like too much to bear: having a teenage daughter with a chronic illness and losing a grandchild. My heart goes out to you. Your daughter is at a developmental stage where she is supposed to break away from adult control, yet it is clear that she hasn’t been successful in becoming responsible for her diabetes.

I strongly suggest involving a counselor connected with your local hospital/diabetes unit to help your daughter see that her actions have profound consequences. Did she want this pregnancy? If so, then her grief must be addressed as well. I know you love your daughter; don’t let her resentment of your concern get in the way of doing what is best for her.

CMB

[Editor’s comment: It sounds like you and you and your daughter have been through a lot and are both having difficulties. In addition to Craig’s advice, I would suggest finding a diabetes team who can help your daughter find a treatment plan that is more in keeping with her lifestyle. Having to maintain to rigid schedule would turn any teenager off. She needs a multiple injection or insulin pump regimen that will allow for more freedom in eating and timing. This may help her understand that she can control her diabetes rather than having it control her. Also, since it is obvious that your daughter is sexually active, I think she would benefit greatly from meeting with a specialist in adolescent medicine. I am sure that the children’s hospital in your area has an adolescent medicine department. Having your diabetes team and the adolescent specialists work together with your daughter, I would hope that further tragedies can be avoided.

SS]