I have a 50 year old male friend who has been diabetic for about 6 years. He takes two diabetes pills twice a day. He frequently has high blood sugars. His doctor has referred him to an endocrinologist. How will I, his doctor and the endocrinologist get my male friend to understand that he has to stick to a strict regimen with his diabetic blood testing? I have tried for almost 2 years to get him to have a strict daily regimen, but he just won’t listen. I am a professional – RPN. Will the endocrinologist make him see his problems?

Unfortunately, none of us can make anyone do anything — we cannot scare them, guilt them, shame them, or manipulate them to take care of their medical conditions once they are of a certain age.

We can encourage, support, learn, and do no harm. By that I mean that we must not help them harm themselves. I am sure you have stated your concerns for this man. I am certain that you have encouraged him. I do not doubt that you want the best outcomes for him. But until he wants the same things, not much will change. He may be depressed over the fact that he has something medicine cannot cure. He may be angry or isolated from others. So many things go into a person’s response to diabetes. The very best thing to do is love him, and let him know that you want to know him for a long time. Diabetes uncontrolled can shorten your relationship substantially.

The two of you as a team can do so much. You alone can do very little.

CMB